First and foremost : if you are currently in distress then look at http://www.mind.org.uk
or dial 999 or 911 and explain you need help.
Now, if you are relatively ok or just interested, then welcome to the information below.
People with high sensitivity are particularly prone to problems.
Important Facts That Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) Want You To Know About Them
Occasionally there are certain negative attachments to calling someone sensitive. The term HSP refers to a Highly Sensitive Person, this term also has strong negative stigmas attached to it. People sometimes misunderstand exactly what it means to be an HSP, so we have decided to express that to everyone. Here are just a few things that Highly Sensitive People want you to know about them.
We Aren’t Overly Emotional, We Just Feel EVERYTHING.
It’s not that we are “crybabies” or that we do not have control over ourselves. As highly sensitive individuals we feel everything around us. We are strongly connected to powerful and deep emotions, and those feelings run through us constantly. We can’t seem to disconnect from the emotions of the world around us. Sometimes because of this we may be affected more by something we see, like a story, a book, music or even a movie. If there is an emotional element that is pushing its way through, we are almost incapable of ignoring it. We are often moved by these displays of emotion, and can experience them very deeply. We are like a lightning rod for emotions, connecting to everything around us.
We Struggle With the Word “No”
Because of our caring and connected nature, we often have a hard time saying “no” to others. Feeling like we may have let someone down affects us deeply. We want to be able to bring positive emotions to others, and very strongly avoid causing any negative feelings. We are the person you can ask to plan an event for you, or pick you up from the airport. Even if we are beyond exhausted and need time to ourselves, we still will attempt to juggle everything at once just to make you happy.
We are constantly trying to be courteous to others, and attempt to do what we can to be polite and considerate. People who are cold or inconsiderate bother us deeply. It is hard to witness such coldness when we know just how much pain it can cause others. When someone hurts another human being, we feel that pain ourselves. We can’t always understand why people are so uncaring, and it makes us want to withdraw from others sometimes. Be mindful that not all HSPs are introverts, and that can be a struggle. Wanting to be around people, yet simultaneously needing to separate yourself is very challenging for the extroverted highly sensitive person.
We May Prefer Solo Exercise
We have a hard time when we feel like we are being watched by others. Even if we enjoy attention, there is something unnerving about being watched. Some of us struggle with exercising or playing sports knowing that other people are watching us. We often feel like we are being judged which may make us react awkwardly. We are often very capable of being good at sports, but struggle when there are people around us. Being watched by a multitude of people somehow feels like a million emotions directed at us. We are completely incapable of disconnecting from that feeling of eyes on us, judging our reactions.
Not all of us are this way, though. Some HSPs develop a comfort with themselves and become very capable of handling the spotlight without cracking under the pressure.
We Don’t Make Decisions Easily
Because we realize that our choices can have a powerful effect on others, we struggle with finalizing them. We are often very aware of how every little detail can cause a different result. This causes decision making to be an issue for us. We want to make sure that everything is properly planned and crafted so that we may turn over the best result possible. Because of this we may end up in a loop of never stepping out of our comfort zone. Once we have made a decision that we know ends well for us, we may continue to make that same decision over and over again when faced with it. This makes us feel more at ease, since we fear that changing our minds could have a negative result. We realize that this sounds crazy, but it is simply because we know that the tiniest detail can change our day or even the day of the people around us. Picking the wrong place to eat could mean that the people eating with us are miserable, or even become ill. Worrying about the tiny details is something that causes us stress on a constant basis, and makes us slightly on edge. This is why we much prefer to allow others to make those tiny decisions, instead of feeling like a complete failure when it goes wrong. It’s not that we are attempting to pass the struggle on to someone else. It is just that we realize most people aren’t as ridiculously obsessive over these things. We instantly feel pressured because we know that others will want to rush our decision. We hate feeling like a burden and often do not know how to properly navigate this.
We Are More Sensitive to Physical Experiences
Our bodies are often just as sensitive as our hearts and minds. Our physical surroundings often affect us much more than they do others. The sound of an annoying noise may bug some people, but to us it is complete misery. Too much chaos makes us feel extremely uncomfortable, and we may want to escape. Physical ailments also feel more intense for us. Things like being scratched, or even just being touched by an object that causes our skin to react poorly. We are acutely aware of our surroundings, and often cannot seem to avoid this. Some highly sensitive people are even more sensitive to medications or even alcohol. Realizing that we are more physically sensitive is very helpful to us. We don’t enjoy complaining, and will often endure immense amounts of discomfort before you hear us mention it. Attempting to realize that when we are complaining, it means we are intensely bothered and really could do with some help and support from others.
We Don’t Intentionally Feel Your Emotions, It Just Happens
Highly Sensitive People are acutely aware of other people’s emotions. Keep in mind that we aren’t doing this intentionally, and may even attempt to ignore it. When we sense that something is wrong with you, we can’t always put our finger on it directly, but we know that something is in fact off. We may attempt to pretend it isn’t there, since we realize that not everyone takes kindly to this awareness. After some time passes though it will become impossible to ignore these emotions. We aren’t trying to be invasive or expose you in any way, we just sense very strongly how you are feeling, and feel a need to address this. We are rarely judging you for your emotions, and sincerely just want to help in any way that we can.
We Can’t Ignore Your Negative Emotions Even If We Try
Trust me, feeling your negative emotions is very draining for us. We can feel your emotions radiating from you, and sometimes we become overwhelmed by them. Even when we attempt to ignore it, or occupy our minds with something else, those feelings continue to probe and poke at us. We want to let you be and give you the space that you may need, but it is almost impossible to do so. It is almost like we are being called to action, and have no way of escaping our purpose. The best way to ignore these emotions and give you space, is for us to physically be separated from one another.
The worst thing you can do is treat us like we are crazy. We know something is wrong, we just don’t always know what. We can’t always figure out what is bothering you exactly, but we can sense that something is wrong very strongly. Pretending like we are just being paranoid is a terrible way to make us feel like retreating. Being honest and saying that you need some space, and giving us space is the best way to move on from this struggle. Be understanding, because this is just as hard for us as it might be for you.
We Are Sick and Tired of You Asking Us “Why Are You So Sensitive?”
We get it, we’re “sensitive”. We are tired of everyone addressing this and making us feel bad about it. People love this quality when they need a friend to help them out, or a shoulder to cry on. Accept us for who we are if you want to reap the benefits of this. Continuously telling us to stop worrying, or stop taking things so harshly, is not going to help. We cannot change that we are acutely aware of others emotions, and we cannot help that we struggle deeply with criticism. Because of our natural awareness of other’s emotions, we can also be very sensitive to criticism. We don’t intend to take other people’s comments so harshly, and we truly wish we could brush them off easier.
Our sensitivity is a part of who we are as people. It is what makes us loving and affectionate. It is why we care so much about others and often do what we can to make people happy. Without this quality, we would be completely different people. Being a Highly Sensitive Person definitely has its struggles, but it can also be a wonderful gift and honestly we wouldn’t have it any other way.
if you feel a bit desperate - or feel 'lost' - or feel the 'blackness' ...please contact .... http://www.mind.org.uk ...they are nice people...
..i've been there in the 'darkness' .....
........ and did not like it.....
................ and I got help to get back on my feet again
................................... ....and I'm still standing...